A Long Time Ago
by ashlice
Summary: Set in season six. Remember when Brooke admitted to Julian that her last time in love was with Lucas? Well, he overheard. Unsure of the direction, LOTS of BL, with BJu and LP just because they were together in that season. Rated T to be safe.
1. Eavesdropping

**Setting:** Mid Season Six. What if Lucas had heard Brooke tell Julian the last guy she was in love with was Lucas?

**Author's Note: **I did my best to make it fit what was going on, and I feel really stupid that I can't remember the exact episode but I did my best, and I'm not exactly sure where it's going, but I had a moment of inspiration. And though I've never published anything OTH, I find it really easy and fun to write both Brooke and Lucas so I took a shot. If certain scenes are out of order, ignore it, it's all happening at around the same time anyway. :) Reviews are LOVE!

"So the last time you were in love was…?"

"A very long time ago." She knows, as the words come out, that he'd understand. He would know who she was talking about. Anyone who knew her at all would know. He looks hurt, and it cuts her to see it. But not enough to lie, not enough to deny the questions he had.

Julian looks beautiful to her, sitting there, even though she sees the anger rising in him. He accuses her of still being in love, but not with him. Says he's tired of the stench of Lucas Scott ruining all his relationships. She assures him she feels the same, and she does. She was pretty tired of the same thing. He tells her they'll forget this whole thing happened, that they were still going out later. She excuses herself.

As Brooke Davis leaves the room, she turns back around, an apology on the tip of her tongue, only to see that Julian's back is to her. He's looking at her fridge and she'd have to be brain dead not to know what picture he was staring at, the only picture he could have interest in after their argument. Her favorite picture on that fridge.

* * *

"I don't even know if she was talking about me Hales!" His voice is rising, and even though he's tired of arguing with his best friend he doesn't want to stop. Stopping would mean giving up, and he'd given up so many times in the past. It had gotten him nowhere.

"Who else could she possibly be talking about Lucas? Really, are you thinking at all today?" Haley Scott kept calm, which is why he came to her first. He didn't know who else to talk to, certainly not Peyton. She could take it the wrong way, and he certainly wanted that old love triangle to stay in its grave where it belonged.

"I don't know Haley. But, I mean, what am I supposed to do?" Lucas leans forward on the steering wheel, they'd been sitting outside his place in his car for just under an hour now. Peyton was inside, waiting for him.

Haley sighed. "Why do you have to do anything Luke? You overheard Brooke's conversation with Julian. It's not a big deal."

He leaned back on the head rest, his head hurt from frustration and confusion. He had to make Haley understand, had to make her see why this meant so much to him.

"Hales…"He trailed off. "If it's my fault that Brooke can't open up anymore, if I'm the last guy she was in love with…"He was staring at his hands now, he could feel the dread set in. "I can't live with myself if it's all my fault."

Haley's eyes softened now and she reached over and gave Lucas's hand a gentle squeeze. "It's okay Luke. She's a big girl, she's gotten through a lot, and she can handle this. She just needs some time to trust Julian. You know her well enough to know that." Her words were meant to reassure but they didn't.

* * *

It was just a few days ago that he had stood outside Brooke's door. He needed to talk to her about what was going on with Peyton and the baby. He knew she would make him feel better, she always did. It was just so _Brooke _of her. And even after seven long years of knowing each other, after everything that had happened between them, it was still Brooke Davis that he went to. So this time was no different, or at least it hadn't started out any different. Until he heard her words. Heard Brooke Davis tell her boyfriend that she was not in love with him, or anyone else for that matter. Heard her tell him that she had not known love since Lucas, and something in her tone, though he could not see her eyes because he was outside her door, made him think that she didn't think she deserved to.

But that was not true. She deserved it more than anyone he knew. And he wanted to tell her that, except that it was Julian, her _boyfriend _that loved her, who told her. And so Lucas left, deciding that he was the last person the couple would want to see at that moment. That his burdens were his alone and he should not bother Brooke with them.

He was startled by the sound of footsteps behind him, and turned around, smiling at the woman leaning against the doorframe. "I was making breakfast in bed."

"I know, I smelled it. At first I wanted to throw up but then we decided that we're hungry." Peyton Sawyer patted her belly, which was getting rounder and rounder every day with what was soon to be her and Lucas's child.

"Well, eat up." Lucas set the plates of food down, kissing his fiancée's forehead on his way to the table. They ate in comfortable silence, the sound of silverware on plates being the only noise. He studied her as she ate. Peyton Sawyer was beautiful, all blonde and a mess of legs. There was an air of happiness around her now that she'd made the most important decision of her life, and it pleased him to see her happy, even if it might only be for a few more months. As he looked at his future wife, her face seemed to fade off of her body, replaced by another one that he knew just as well.

Dark hair and dimples, with eyes so huge, just wanting to take in the entire world in one scope. Now this was beauty at its best. So pretty, it hurt to stare for too long, though it never stopped him. The way he was picturing her now, laughing joyfully, was his second favorite way of seeing her. His first being the way she was when she was vulnerable. Like when she told him she gave a rat's ass about him, back in their junior year of high school. It had been her way of letting him know that this was different, that _he _was different, and it was also her way of telling him that he had power now. The power to hurt her, because she cared now, she cared about him. A lot. And he admitted that he felt the same. His "for fun" girlfriend was becoming the real deal and it was scary and wonderful all at the same time.

"Lucas? Did you hear me?" Peyton woke Lucas out of his stupor. He found himself annoyed, wishing she hadn't done so. He was enjoying himself, reliving one of his favorite nights with Brooke. One of his favorite nights period.

"Sorry, what did you say?" He couldn't look at her, afraid it would be Brooke that he saw again, and afraid he'd be happy if it were.

"I said that you've been a little sulky lately. It's like you're trying to make up for something." She was chiding him, not seriously suspicious but at the same time curious. It was true, he had kept to himself a lot more lately, spending his time taking more and more trips down memory lane. He avoided Peyton when these trips happened, the times getting more frequent as the days went by.

He shrugged, at a loss for something to say. She smiled at him, reaching over to put her hands over his. "I'm only teasing sweetie."

"Yeah, I know." He said smiling back, hoping she wouldn't realize that it wasn't genuine.

* * *

"It's a nice picture."

Brooke let out a little squeak, and turned around. She'd forgotten that Julian was still here. They had fallen asleep on the couch a while ago, Brooke waking up before him had decided to make herself something to eat.

"It's my favorite." She said honestly. She didn't know why she said it, didn't know why the more she hurt him the more she felt relief. Maybe she was hoping he'd end it, surrender the war he could never win. That way he'd be free, free in a way that she hadn't been since she'd met Lucas Scott.

Even now, as he looked at the picture he'd looked at the previous week, the one with her, Lucas, and Angie, she saw him bite back the hurt. He really was in love with her, and he was trying to be patient. But how long would he wait for her?

Julian was silent as he sat down across from Brooke. He took both her hands in his, and she sensed something heavy coming on. She would not allow him to open himself up even more for her, not until she was ready for it. Fortunately, she was rescued by a phone call.

She looked at the caller ID, not wanting to let any emotion play out on her face, and took her hands out of Julian's, snapping the phone up before he could read it as well. At the look on his face she wondered if she had taken them away too quickly.

"Hey Peyt! What's up?" She paused waiting for her caller to continue.

"Oh, I get it. Listen, Brooke, I need to talk to you about something. Can you come by? I'm at Nate and Haley's watching Jamie."

"Yeah, sure, I'm on my way." Brooke snapped her phone shut and did her best to put a passive expression on her face. "That was Peyton, she says she needs to talk to me, so I'm going to head over and she what she wants. Stick around, I'll be back soon, promise." She leaned over the table and kissed his lips quickly.

Julian sighed, but nodded his head. "Want me to take you?"

His question was casual, but Brooke's response wasn't. "No!" She paused, eying the door, wanting to leave. "No, I mean, I want you to be here when I get back." She did her best to sound seductive, knowing well enough that she could without even trying. It was like she had a switch in her, and she could turn it on and off whenever she pleased.

Julian's face lit up, buying her false promises. "Sure, go ahead."

She rushed out, unsure what she was doing or why she wanted to do it so badly.

* * *

"So why did you lie to Julian?" it was the first question that Lucas asked Brooke after saying hello when she reached the Scott's house. Jamie had fallen asleep watching cartoons, so Lucas led her into the kitchen.

"What?" she had no idea what he was talking about, and she guessed that it was because she'd been so confused lately. After breaking up with Lucas for good all those years ago, she'd learned how to put those feelings away, at times she questioned if they were still there. But lately, with Julian's questioning she found herself thinking about him and more importantly thinking about what could have been.

"I mean, when we were on the phone. You made it sound like I was Peyton." He explained, leaning against the kitchen counter.

She replied with another question. "How did you know I was with Julian?" she asked him.

He shrugged. "Who else?" And though it seemed like a plausible answer, she knew him so well that she knew he was hiding something. Brooke was clever enough to guess that it was the reason behind their meeting today.

"Luke, what are you not telling me?" She asked him point blank. She was startled to see him laugh, a real laugh,she was startled but pleased.

"Always blunt Brooke." He said distantly, as if he was thinking about something else. They were silent for a few seconds, and just when Brooke was about to repeat her question, Lucas looked up at her. "Do you remember that time at the beach, right before senior year?" he asked her.

She opened her mouth to reply yes but stopped herself. She had just been thinking of that day this morning, right before Julian came over. "What about it?"

"It was a great day."

She smiled, cocking her head to one side. "Yes it was. But why are you bringing it up now?"

"I thought we could enjoy a nice trip, you know, down memory lane." He said. She could see he was being honest with her, about what he wanted, but not about his intentions. She didn't know what to do, and she absolutely had no idea where this would lead them. Brooke didn't know if she could trust him, but she knew that she did. Aside from Peyton, Lucas was her best friend. She loved him more than was good for her sometimes, she couldn't help it, him being such a huge part of her and of who she was now. He was her history.

And so she decided that this time, this one time, they could discuss that history. "Do you remember when Deb caught us buying Trojans and whipped cream?" She asked, letting just a little smile play at her lips. His answering grin was amazing, and made her feel happy in a way that she hadn't in a long time.

"I remember everything." He replied.

**A/N:** So that's that! I actually wanted to keep writing but I thought it would be too long of a chapter, though I'm writing a new right now. I really love the way its going and I won't abandon it, just because it's so much fun to write. I love reviews, the more I get the more I write. :D


	2. Goodnight

**Author Note: Two chapters in one day! This one is a little shorter than the last, but I really like it. I'm neutral towards B/Julian on the show, I don't really care as long as Brooke is happy, whereas I cannot stand LP. At all. So it's really surprising that I write them in a somewhat positive light, although like I said, this is the Brooke and Lucas show. We just need to deal with the obstacles in their path first, and there are plenty. Anywho, I hope you guys like this one, thanks to those of you who reviewed and added my story to favorites 3**

Brooke was dazed as she stood up to leave. This was the first time in years, maybe ever, that she'd allowed herself to completely let go and think about _everything _that had to do with Lucas Scott and the history that she shared with him. They'd spent the past hour just talking, and she knew they weren't done. Their love had taken years to live out, it couldn't be summarized in just an hour.

"Stay for dinner Brooke, Nathan and Haley should be back soon." Lucas said to her once they were both outside. She shook her head, already knowing she was in some serious trouble.

"Julian's at home waiting for me, I should get back." She said. At the sound of Julian's name, Lucas's expression changed. His eyes closed for a second, no smile appearing on his lips. He opened his eyes and ran a hand through his blonde hair. Brooke had a sudden urge to run her hands through it too, but stopped herself. She had to be in control.

"Julian…" Lucas said. He looked at her for what seemed like years before talking again. "You never answered my question."

"What?"

"Why did you lie to him and tell him it was Peyton on the phone and not me?" he asked her. There was something in his eyes, like he knew the answer, but he wanted to hear her say it. There was no way he could know the reason, not even Lucas knew her that well. She hadn't told anyone.

Brooke bit down on her bottom lip and then sighed. "Julian told me that he loves me last week. And I couldn't say it back." She hoped that it would suffice, that he wouldn't press the matter forward.

She should have known better.

"What does that have to do with me?" he asked. His eyes bore into her own, searching for something Brooke didn't know of, maybe something that wasn't even there.

"He just wanted to make sure that the reason I couldn't say it back didn't have to do with you…or with us." She paused, waiting for his reaction. His face remained impassive, so she continued. "I made sure he knew that it didn't, but I can tell it's still bothering him, so it's best if I wait a little bit before ever bringing you up."

"Brooke." The way he said her name was apologetic, like he was about to confess to something. Then he shook his head, as if changing his mind. She wasn't surprised that she could still read him so easily. Every aspect of their relationship was easy, at least when it came to the core. But there were things, other things, that were very important and that were not easy. Peyton Sawyer being the most important one.

"I've gotta go Luke." She said. She reached up, putting one hand to the side of his face, and looked at him for a while, rememorizing his face. "Goodnight."

* * *

When she had removed her hand and said goodnight, Lucas was unsure of what he felt. He felt so much sadness because he knew she was lying to him, to Julian, and to herself. This had everything to do with her past with him. He wasn't being egocentric, or thinking highly of himself. He just knew, he felt it. Brooke was in bad shape ever since Julian's accusation, and Lucas could see it was because she was doubting herself. He had broken her, he knew it, maybe in ways he didn't know about or could understand. But he knew Brooke, knew her so well, she would attempt to put herself back together. When he got back home he went straight to the nursery, and sat down, too tired and dazed to stand.

And now that she had, she'd forgotten all about their past, whereas it was always in the back of his mind, behind other things. Things like Peyton, the movie, and his writing. But it was there. And now, it was at the forefront of both of their minds. It was alien to the both of them, thinking about each other, remembering everything from a time that seemed very long ago.

Lucas shut the door of the nursery as he left it. It was meant to be a surprise for Peyton. It had been tainted by the recent news they had gotten. There was a good chance that if Peyton had the baby, she would die. At first Lucas could not even begin to comprehend what it would be like if such a tragedy had happened. He'd be left to raise a baby on his own, without Peyton's guidance or love by his side. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he needed to hope, and if things didn't work out, because they almost never did, he needed to have a backup plan.

Lucas knew he wouldn't be completely alone. He would have Haley and Nathan. He'd have his mom. And he knew without a doubt that he would have Brooke Davis. Brooke would never turn away the chance to help raise a child that was a part of her best friend. She'd look at the baby, most likely blonde, and cave.

"_Precious. Luke, she needs me. She's a little Peyton." She would say._

He needed Brooke, needed her reassurance, which was why he'd gone to see her that day in the first place. But now it had been complicated, tainted by old memories and feelings that he just couldn't seem to put away. He didn't need these complications, and neither did she. He'd put her through enough, but he couldn't stop himself from thinking about it all.

Brooke, dancing on table tops. Brooke running around from party to party, putting on a show for the entire student body, not caring at all because she learned a long time ago that when you care there was always a chance of getting hurt. Brooke, with her eyes shining, declaring herself to him. The one he was once so _sure,_ he'd wake up to every morning. Brooke Davis, full of peals of giggly laughter, all smiley and dimply, and only ever truly sad when they were not together. Only he knew the different sides of her, the _amazing_ sides, because they all were amazing. Not Julian. And Julian would never get to know, thanks to him. Thanks to stupid Lucas Scott.

"Hey, Luke?" Peyton stepped out of their bedroom holding his phone. "Brooke called. I told her you'd said you wanted to be alone. She said you don't have to call her back but I think you should." She handed him his phone. "She won't tell me what's going on with her, but I think if she's willing to talk its best if it's with you." She laughed and indicated her belly. "After all, I'm not in the right state of mind, or in any to tell you the truth."

He joined in her laughter, hating what was happening to him but secretly happy that he was letting himself remember Brooke. His only regret was that someone was going to get hurt, and it might be the beautiful blonde standing before him, carrying his child. It might be him. It could even be Brooke. But as soon as the thought came to his head, he banished it. Not Brooke Davis, anyone but her. He would never ever hurt her again.

* * *

"I'm really sorry Julian." She whispered. "So sorry."

He looked at her, not angry or upset, just confused and hurt. "When you told me to stick around, I mean, I—"

She cut him off, wanting to avoid the fight that she knew was coming. "I know, I know, and I'm sorry! But I'm just not up for it right now."

He breathed through his nose, and laid back. Then he sat himself up, propping his chin in his palm. "Brooke Davis, I don't get it."

"It's got nothing to do with Lucas." She said automatically. She looked at Julian's half naked body, laying beside her in her bed. She reached across and got her own shirt, pulling it over her head. He'd gone very silent.

"I never mentioned anything about Lucas." He said quietly.

"But I knew what you were thinking." Brooke covered for herself. The truth was, it had slipped out. She was being overly defensive and she had a reason to be. And yes, it was a five letter word—name.

Julian's face went white. "Please do _not _tell me you were thinking about him while I was kissing you?" It seemed like he was pleading with her. "Brooke, _please._"

She couldn't look at him, couldn't bear to. She knew the feeling, of the sudden realization that the person who you were so in love with, the only person in the world you wanted to give your heart to, she knew how it felt to suddenly find out there was no hope. That you would never be able to captivate them like that other person did.

"My god Brooke." He jumped out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked without looking at him. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him rushing to get his clothes on.

"Leaving as fast as I can. If you're thinking about Lucas Scott right before we have sex, then really Brooke, we should not be having sex. In fact, we should not be seeing each other at all." He said heading for the door.

She bolted after him. This was wrong, this was not how it was supposed to go. "Julian, please! Please, wait!"

He stopped, his hand on the doorknob, ready to leave. He turned around, with the same hurt and confused expression he wore when she refused to sleep with him that night. "What could you possibly have left to say to me Brooke? What?"

"I never meant to hurt you." And as she said the words, more came into her head. "Even though I know it all hurts just the same."

He was silent, looking at her, maybe for the last time. After a while he spoke. "Yeah, yeah it does. Goodnight Brooke." And he walked out the door.


	3. Homewrecker

**A/N - I'm really enjoying writing this. There's so many layers to BL. I think they're the most tortured couple on the show because even though falling in love is easy for them, their relationship was never a walk in the park. I like relating their past to what's happening now, though it was kind of hard to write this chapter because I LOVE Brooke Davis so much and I don't ever like seeing her so hurt. Review and let me know what you guys think :)**

Her mind wasn't moving a million hours, like it had on that one terrible night several years ago. No, it was blank, almost calm. She was sifting through it all rationally, letting her mind work instead of her heart. After all, it was always her heart that got her in trouble. She remembered the words she spoke to Julian, words that had been exchanged between her and Lucas years ago. She had been Julian in that scenario.

Lucas had never meant to hurt her; he was too much of a good guy to purposely want it. But he did it anyway, he cheated on her with Peyton, something at the time that she would _never _have thought he would do. On that day her mind had been racing. It went from one question to another, wondering what she did wrong, blaming herself. Because as hard as she tried that day, she had no anger in her towards Lucas. Truth was, she cared about him more than just about anyone she knew at that point. The only other person she cared for just as much, maybe more, was Peyton. And the both of them had gone and screwed up everything. She blamed herself at first because she didn't want it to be true and she didn't want it to be over. But then she realized the fault lay in her opening up to Lucas. Little by little he seeped in, she hadn't even realized how deep he'd gone until she'd found out it was over.

It was one of the worst days in her life. It was funny how all her best and worst days had to do with Lucas Scott, every single one of them.

She'd cried and cried, and cut both Lucas and Peyton out of her life. But Brooke Davis being Brooke Davis, well, she had to put on her game face and be brave. After all, there was no one left to be brave for her. The only two people who could have helped her get through it all were the ones who landed her in this situation. And now, she had gone and done the same to Julian. Somewhat, anyway. She hadn't cheated on him, but she might as well have. Maybe it would have been better than what she had been doing lately, hurting him with little jabs about Lucas, and reminding him of what he could never be for her. He could never be her Lucas, her _boyfriend, _in the way Lucas had been.

Shaking her head to get rid of all the memories, she knocked on Nathan and Haley Scott's door. Nathan opened it.

"Brooke you look like hell." He said. And at the sound of his gentle voice, she caved. She cried and cried and threw herself into Nathan's arms. He held her tightly on the doorstep, letting her get the worst out. She'd been holding it in for days now.

"Nate, what's going on?" Haley appeared behind Nathan. Brooke could barely see her, her vision was blurred by tears. They wouldn't stop, and she realized that they had been building since her senior year in high school. She'd never let them out, fearing they'd never stop.

"Hey H—Haley." Brooke stammered out her greeting.

"Give her to me." Haley said quietly, taking Brooke into her own arms. She wrapped her up even tighter than Nathan had and then proceeded to pull her into the living room.

"I'm s-sorry, I-I had no-nowhere else t-to go." She felt like such a baby. But maybe it was okay this time, maybe it was what she needed. Being tough hadn't gotten her anywhere, or anywhere that mattered to her to be exact.

"Brooke, don't be sorry. Just tell me what's wrong." Haley pulled her close and began stroking her hair. Nathan sat on Brooke's other side and put his hand on her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.

Brooke took a breath and wiped the moisture off her face. Nathan handed her a tissue. "Julian and I b-broke up l-last night."

Now that the tears had slowed down a little, Brooke could see more clearly. She could see that Haley was wearing an expression identical to one that Lucas had worn the previous week when she'd seen him. It was like Haley knew what was going on, but she just wanted Brooke to talk about it.

"I thought you two were doing great?" Nathan said from beside her.

"We were, but I should have known better. I just wish we could've ended it sooner, so that it would have hurt less." She said truthfully.

Haley was silent, she just looked at Brooke, trying to read into her words. Then she turned to her husband. "Nate, you're late for picking up Jamie from Luke's."

"Oh, right. Don't leave 'till I get back Brooke, you're staying for dinner." He said before getting up to leave. Once they were alone Haley finally started talking.

"Is this about Lucas?" she asked Brooke. Brooke kept silent, not saying anything. Haley let out a little groan of frustration. "Oh, Brooke. This shouldn't be happening."

At those words an intense mix of anger and guilt surged through Brooke like never before. "You don't think I know that Haley? You think that I don't know how everyone thinks Lucas belongs with Peyton? You don't think that I didn't hear what everyone was saying before he was going to marry Lindsey? How he was making the wrong choice, how it was always _supposed _to be _Peyton_? You don't think I know all of this? That I coached the both of them into realizing all of it? That sometimes I wish I could take it all back?" And here came the tears.

Haley was quiet while she watched Brooke cry some more.

"I didn't mean that Brooke. I just meant that…it's kinda too late. Peyton is _pregnant _with Lucas's child and they're getting _married_ soon. If you'd just—" she began, but Brooke cut her off.

"If I'd just spoken up sooner? While everyone was talking about how Luke and Peyton are fate? I don't need my new nickname to be homewrecker Hales." She sounded bitter, she knew that.

"No, if you'd spoken up sooner you'd probably be the one wearing his ring on your finger right now." And these were the words that cut her deepest, because if they were true than she may have made the biggest mistake of her life. And it was too late to undo it.

* * *

"She was crying?" he asked. He could picture it, no one cried like Brooke. No one managed to make you feel so sad, so deep inside your soul, and still manage to look like the most beautiful creature on the planet as she did it.

"Yeah, she just showed up on our doorstep looking like she hadn't left her house for days, and the second I spoke she started crying. I'm pretty sure she's still there now." Nathan said. He picked up his son's sweater. "Jamie, you ready to go?"

"Can Uncle Lucas come?" Jamie asked looking at his uncle.

"I think Uncle Lucas has seen enough of you today buddy." Nathan replied, but Lucas shook his head.

"No, no, I'll come too. Peyton's out shopping so I have some time." He said. "And besides, I want to see Brooke."

Nathan raised an eyebrow and Lucas silently scolded himself for letting his want for Brooke slip. "Jamie, wait in the car."

"Can we just go now, please Dad?" Jamie begged.

"Uncle Lucas and I will be out in a minute." Nathan said, handing his son's sweater to him as he headed for the car. Once Jamie was gone Nathan looked his brother straight in the eyes. "What's going on? Do you know why she and Julian broke up?"

"Brooke and Julian broke up?" Lucas asked, a little too quickly. Nathan was definitely suspicious now.

"Yeah, they broke up last night but Brooke didn't say why. Do you know anything about it?" he asked Lucas.

"How could I? It just happened last night."

* * *

He couldn't help but feel sad for Brooke. Even if she didn't love Julian, even if she couldn't, she still cared about him a hell of a lot. He was important to her, and he was filling an empty space in her heart that no one except Lucas knew about. Maybe he could fix things for them; maybe he could get them back together. Then Brooke could fall in love with him and get the storybook ending she deserved. That's how he would make up for all the years of hurt he'd caused her; he would be focused on her happiness. He owed her at least that.

As Nathan and Jamie walked through the front door, Haley came out and pulled Lucas to the side.

"Is Brooke still here?" he asked her.

"Yes but this is not the time to talk to her. I think you should go back home and wait for Peyton. Remember her? Your fiancée?" she said.

"Didn't you always tell me you thought Brooke was best?" Lucas asked her.

Haley rolled her eyes. "Stop it. That was years ago. What Brooke needs right now is some time away. Time away from Julian, from Peyton, and especially from you."

"Ouch Hales." He said attempting to walk past her.

Haley sighed and put a hand on his chest. "I'm sorry Lucas. But I love her too, just as much as you and anyone else here does, so I'm looking out for her."

"So am I."

"No you're not Luke, not right now. You're being selfish and living in the past. Are you still planning on marrying Peyton and starting a new life with her?" she asked him.

Lucas sighed, buying himself some time. "Yes, I am going to marry Peyton."

"Then why string Brooke along?" He hated that Haley always made sense.

"I am not stringing Brooke along! I just want to see her, she's upset and I care about her Haley." His voice rose.

"Then leave her alone. I'm sure you guessed that you have something to do with her and Julian's break up." Haley shot back.

He didn't want to argue anymore. "Haley, please."

"I'm sorry Lucas. If you love Brooke, you'll go home and back to Peyton." Haley give him a big hug, and over her shoulder he could see a tired looking brunette, her eyes red and swollen and looking more hurt than he'd ever seen them before.

* * *

She could hear them loud and clear, and half of her wished that she couldn't.

"_I am not stringing Brooke along!"_

Why did he choose the wrong time to fight for her? The absolutely worst time? Why now, when it would amount to nothing except for heartbreak for her?

"_Then leave her alone. I'm sure you guessed that you have something to do with her and Julian's break up." _

She felt some gratitude towards Haley's attempts to protect her, but she wished she would Lucas come inside the house. The truth was that they deserved to talk and they both owed each other some explanations.

"_Haley, please."_

Lucas's voice broke as he began to beg. Brooke had to see him now, had to see if this was all real. She got up from the couch and walked towards the front door.

"Brooke, I don't think you should go." Nathan called to her, but she didn't reply. She just kept going.

As she reached the doorway she could see Haley and Lucas hugging. She'd never felt worse in her life. What she'd always wanted, what could have _saved _her relationship with Lucas all those years ago, if he'd just fought for her…now he was doing it with no happy ending in sight. They made eye contact as Brooke's tears spilled out of her eyes.

"Lucas Scott please do not do this to me again." She said to him. Haley let go of Lucas and spun around to face Brooke.

"Brooke, go back inside." Her voice was gentle, but she'd let her guard down and Lucas sidestepped her to get to Brooke.

"Brooke, I am going to fix this, I promise." He reached out a hand to touch her face, but stopped before he did and let it fall. Maybe he decided it would only make things worse. "I'm going to get Julian back for you."

Brooke looked down at her feet as he spoke, realizing she was worse off than she believed. When he'd said he was going to fix things, she thought he meant between the two of them. Not between her and Julian. He didn't want to try and be with her, or to make her feel better, he wanted to make things up to her. To apologize for the fact that she could and never would have him.

"Go home Luke." She said before turning her back to him and walking inside the house.


	4. Forfeit

**A/N - Okay, I admit this one is a little long but I think it was well worth it. It is by far my favorite chapter because I finally got around to talking about the events that happened in season four, and my take on them. And as I write this I get more and more annoyed the Peyton ended up pregnant because it just makes it harder for me to work with! But it does make for an interesting story. And for anyone that is wondering, Brooke and Julian are in fact done for good, it's pretty much confirmed in this chapter. And remember to review, I love knowing that this is being favorited and put on alert lists but reviews are really what make me want to write (apart from BL), so keep them coming guys.**

"Lucas?" a voice called.

Lucas Scott looked up from the newspaper he was reading to see Peyton sit down at the table across from him. "Hey."

She raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Hey?"

Lucas gave her a small smile. "Hey Peyton." He didn't know what she wanted. Over the course of the week he really hadn't seen much of her, except for when the two of them went to bed and at that point Peyton was exhausted and fell asleep right away, leaving Lucas to sit up and think thoughts that he tried to escape during the day.

"Lucas, what's wrong with you? What's with all the 'I'm going for a walk.' or 'I'm going for a drive.' crap? Is something bothering you?" Peyton placed a concerned hand over his own, refusing to break eye contact. He really wanted to come clean to her, fearing both outcomes. Either she would be okay with everything and stick by him, or she wouldn't. Either way he was sure he'd end up without what he really wanted. Could he really sacrifice his future with Peyton, a future that mere weeks ago was all he wanted?

"I'm fine Peyt." But even he heard the lie in his voice.

"Is it about Brooke? Nathan told me that she's not doing too well since she and Julian broke up. Look sweetie, you don't have to feel bad for her. Brooke's tough, she'll bounce back. She always does." Peyton said, with a big smile on her face. He picked up on the tone in her voice. Almost as if she was proud of the way Brooke got over her heartbreaks, even though Lucas knew that Peyton had been the cause of almost all of them. And he also knew that Brooke hadn't bounced back ever since their break up all those years ago.

"I know, but Brooke is one of my best friends. I just don't like seeing her this way." And it was true; it really killed him to see the look on her face. Especially since he knew he was partially the reason it was there.

"To be honest Lucas, you've never really gotten to see her this way. I mean the last time she was this devastated was when she broke up with…" Peyton trailed off realizing what she was about to say. "Is that what's bother you? Her break up with Julian is reminding you of what happened?" Peyton stood up and walked around to where Lucas was sitting. She wrapped her arms around him from behind. Maybe a few weeks ago he would have felt something at the intimate touch, but now his mind was somewhere else completely.

"Peyt, maybe I scarred her. Maybe that's why she can't keep something steady going." He confessed.

Peyton kissed his cheek. "Do not beat yourself up for this. It has nothing to do with you." She paused. "Let me explain something to you Luke, Brooke willingly let you go all those years ago because she thought you were meant for someone else. It was her choice, and she's been through a lot since then. Don't feel bad, she wouldn't want you to."

Lucas sat up straighter. "If she felt that she had to Peyton, that doesn't mean she was willing."

Peyton let her arms fall back to her sides, a hurt look on her face. "Lucas, she was tired of fighting a war she never believed she could win in the first place. Why are we even talking about all of this? It's ancient history!"

"Could never win?" Lucas repeated her words quietly. "I need to go for a drive."

"Luke, I'm sorry, just stay, I don't get—"

"Peyton, I need to go."

* * *

A war she could never win? Is that how Brooke felt when she'd broken up with him? She told him that she loved him and that she probably always would. At the time, those words let him have hope that she'd come back one day. He was under the impression he'd also always feel the same way about her. So it was only a matter of time, and at one point it really did look like they would be getting back together. The night he attended Tree Hill High's basketball banquet his senior year was filled with memories of Brooke. Ones that made him sure she would be his again.

Of course, things didn't work out that way because he and Brooke never got back together. Instead he'd decided that if he and Brooke weren't working out, then maybe he was wrong. Maybe he wasn't the guy for her. After all, if he was it wouldn't be that hard. She'd fall back into his arms happily, realizing that she had been wrong and he'd always been the one. If it was supposed to be, why should he have to fight for her? He'd never had to fight for Peyton.

That was the way he'd seen things the night of the championship game when he'd kissed Peyton, with Brooke's blessing and encouragement. But now he was seeing things in a different light. When people look back on their lives and see the highlights there's always that one person that made them grow the most. For some, it's the great love of their life. And that great love is the one that changed them the most and change is never easy. He and Brooke were never easy. You have to make mistakes and fight to learn. If you don't learn anything, then the love was meaningless. He'd learned a lot with both Peyton and Brooke, but these were two completely different love stories and one greatly overshadowed the other when it came to Lucas growing as a person.

Truth was, Peyton was his current love, and the ring on his finger was a symbol of that. But _Brooke _was what he'd always look back on. And maybe that was how it was supposed to be. Maybe his love with Brooke was only supposed to be something he would learn from and look back on later in his life. But the looking back was becoming way too frequent and it was hurting his relationship with Peyton.

He parked his car, wondering what her reaction would be. He saw her car parked so it was a safe bet that she was home. Lucas got out of his car and walked up to the door, ringing the bell when he reached it.

"She's not home." A voice called out from behind him. Julian Baker was standing against the side of his own car across the street.

"Hey man, didn't see you there." Lucas said. He crossed the street and shook hands with Julian. He didn't know what Julian was thinking, but it couldn't have been anything pleasant.

"I was inside my car; I came out when I saw you. Brooke's not home, I've been waiting around for half an hour now." Julian's grip on Lucas's hand was a little too harsh to be considered friendly, and he let go too quickly for it to be a light hearted moment, not that there had ever been a shot that it would be.

"Oh." He was at a loss for words, afraid to say the wrong thing. "Hey, I'm sorry about you and Brooke. I'm sure you guys can fix it."

Julian let out a chuckle, it wasn't happy. "I don't know Lucas. People always told me you can't fight fate, when I was trying to keep Peyton's heart with me. I know they told you the same thing when you were getting married with that other girl. I'm starting to think they're right, but about the wrong girl."

"Julian, I would never do anything to come in between you and Brooke—"

Julian put up one hand to stop Lucas. "You didn't do anything. Directly anyway. I know you're with Peyton right now and you two are getting married, so I know you haven't done anything. I'm just here to talk to Brooke, I don't want the last time we see each other to be our break up." He paused, looking like he wanted to ask a question.

"What?" Lucas prompted.

"Do me and Brooke both a favor and don't invite us to the wedding. It's going to kill her to be there and it's going to kill me when I have to see her that way." Julian's voice rose at the end, almost breaking. Lucas noticed that Julian was looking past him, over his shoulder. He turned around to see Brooke across the street staring at the both of them.

"What are you both doing here?" she called out. Lucas bolted to where she stood, with Julian at his heels.

"I just wanted to talk." They both said at the same time.

Brooke looked from one ex to the other, completely perplexed. Lucas knew it was not the time, but he still couldn't help smiling. She'd given him that look plenty of times; it brought even more memories rushing back.

"Why are you smiling like that?" She asked him, but he noticed that she was smiling too. Smiling at him, not at Julian.

It looked like Julian had noticed the same thing. "Maybe I should take a number and come back later." He said. Brooke turned to him, the smile fading.

"Why don't the both of you come in?" she said.

* * *

Brooke Davis had been taking a lot of walks lately. She used them to reassure herself that this break up with Julian was a good thing, and now she truly believed it. Julian was wonderful, and he deserved someone equally wonderful who would be as passionate about him as he was about her. As passionate as…Brooke Davis was about Lucas Scott.

There, she said it. Or rather, thought it. She was still in love with him and she was not going to deny it to herself anymore. It's just how it would always be. It would always be Lucas and she was stupid to ever doubt it. She told him before, with every implication in the world that she was talking about the two of them, that people who are meant to be find their way back to each other in the end. She truly believed it for years, even after she and Lucas broke up. But with everyone so convinced that it was Peyton who was supposed to be by Lucas's side, she had no choice but to forfeit for good. Forfeit her own happiness in the name of Peyton Sawyer and Lucas Scott.

Except now she regretted it. Because she saw that Lucas was unhappy and soon enough Peyton would be as well. She shut her eyes and breathed deeply out her nose. When she opened them again she could hear two voices. Both were male and very familiar, she wondered for a second if she was hallucinating. But then she spotted them, all the way across the street from her house. Lucas and Julian. The one she wanted and the one that wanted her.

"What are you both doing here?" she called as she got closer to them. Lucas was first to run across the street towards her, quickly followed by Julian.

"I just wanted to talk." They said in unison. She had no idea why either of them would want to see her, seeing as she was ruining both of their lives. But she caught sight of Lucas smiling at her, like he was thinking of a private joke in his head.

"Why are you smiling like that?" she asked, not being able to resist the urge to return it. It was Lucas Scott after all.

Julian seemed slightly annoyed at their moment so she hastened to invite the both of them inside. It was the moment of truth, and she knew that one other person was supposed to be here.

"Luke, would you mind if I called Peyton?" she asked him, once they were inside. She sat up on top of the kitchen counter, cocking her head to one side like she always did when she was asking for a favor.

Lucas walked over to where she sat, putting one hand on each side of the counter around her. "Why would you want to do that?"

"Because I think she needs to be here." Brooke replied, trying to ignore the fact that his face was inches away from her own.

"We kind of got into an argument, before I came over here." He confessed. "About you. So I don't really know if it's the best thing to do."

Brooke sighed. "I knew it was only a matter of time before this would start to affect her too."

Lucas shook his head and put one hand on the side of Brooke's face. Her heart throbbed at the touch, it had been_ so_ long. _Too _long. It ached as he brushed her hair back from her face.

"Do not put the blame on your shoulders Brooke."

From across the room she heard Julian clear his throat loudly. "I am still here you know."

Lucas dropped his hand and turned his back on Brooke, facing Julian. "Sorry."

Julian laughed. "Thank you for making it all better Lucas." Brooke could hear the hurt behind the sarcasm. She bit down on her bottom lip, wondering if she should have let Julian come back later like he'd originally suggested.

"What do you want me to do Julian?" Lucas's voice rose with every word.

A look of defiance and anger flashed across Julian's face as he took two steps closer to where Lucas and Brooke stood.

"Lucas, do you see the woman behind you? Can you see her clearly at all? After seven years she is _still _in love with you. More than she could ever be with me. And you come over to milk it, knowing that you feel the same about her and yet you still go home to Peyton every night to help her plan the rest of your lives together! And here I stand, wanting nothing more than for that woman behind you to be the happiest she could be, knowing that that is only possible if you are with her, and all you can say is 'sorry'?"

"Julian?" Brooke called.

Julian looked exhausted as he made eye contact with her. "Yes?"

"Are you finished?"

"Yes."

"You didn't have to say all that. That's not what Lucas is doing—" But it was Lucas himself who cut Brooke off.

He turned around to face her again, this time keeping a safe distance away. "He's right Brooke. It's exactly what I'm doing and it's not fair to you or Peyton."

"What's not fair to Peyton?"

The three of them turned to see Peyton Sawyer leaning against the doorway. "What the hell is going on?"


	5. Destiny Shot

_**A/N - Before I get into my usual spiel and intro about the chapter, someone reviewed saying that they thought Brooke seems a little pathetic in this story. I have to tell you I agree, but I think it's better this way, because Brooke needs to wake up and make some changes in her life. She's still who she's always been, it's just buried really deep. And Brooke herself addresses that in this chapter. The reason why she's my favorite character is because she's always been the strongest one on the show, by far. She grits her teeth and does what's best for everyone else, especially when it comes to Lucas and Peyton. That's why I could never like LP, because of how selfish Peyton is in and out of their relationship, when it comes to Lucas. Brooke was never that way. We're getting to the meat of the story, and I promise I won't keep Brooke and Lucas away from each other very much at all anymore.**_

_**As always, I love reviews. :)  
**_

Brooke hopped off the kitchen counter and pushed past Lucas towards his fiancée. She hugged Peyton tightly, wishing they could just stay like this. The last thing she ever wanted to do was break her best friend's heart. She loved her too much.

"Brooke, Luke…someone please tell what you're all doing here?" Peyton's voice had gotten louder, though she hadn't broken her embrace with Brooke.

"Peyton, maybe you should sit down." Brooke could hear Julian talking, but it felt like the room was spinning. She let go of Peyton, and turned to face Lucas.

"I need to talk to her Luke. Just me and her. It's been a long time coming." She said to him. His eyes widened, he shook his head in protest.

"No I want—"

"No Lucas. This is between me and my best friend." And with that she took Peyton's hand and led her into the living room.

"Brooke, you guys are scaring me." Peyton said as she sat down, still clutching Brooke's hand.

"P. Sawyer, how's the little Lucas inside of you?" Brooke asked her. Peyton bit down on her bottom lip.

"Putting me in pain." Peyton grimaced as she used her free hand to pat her stomach. "A lot more than usual."

Brooke's brow furrowed in confusion. "Does Lucas know?"

Peyton shook her head. "I haven't found the nerve to tell him. It's been really painful lately, though I'm not surprised he hasn't noticed. He's been going out a lot lately. This is the first time I've decided to follow him." She paused, looking right at Brooke. "Do you know something Brooke?"

Brooke shook her head. She put her hand on the side of Peyton's face. "You love him a lot don't you Peyt?"

Peyton didn't answer. She looked worried and there were more lines in her face than there should have been. Her eyes were slightly sunken into her head, the bags beneath them starting to show. She looked like a woman in pain, physical pain.

"I do love Lucas. What kind of question is that Brooke?" Peyton shook her head, looking perplexed beyond words. Brooke's heart broke at the sight of her. She didn't want to do this. She remembered when Peyton admitted to her that she had feelings for Lucas, when Brooke had been the one that was with him. When Brooke had been his pretty girl. It was the second time that Peyton had wanted Lucas, and it was also the second time that he'd been with Brooke when it happened. It had made Brooke so furious to the point where she'd slapped Peyton, wishing she'd never met her. Wishing she could just take Lucas and disappear forever, because really, what else had she needed besides him? It had been different that time. They were desperately in love, the pair of them, and here came Peyton ruining it _again. _

But this time it was different. Brooke was the heartbreaker, the second heart she was crushing. First Julian, and now Peyton.

"Brooke?" Peyton waved her free hand in front of Brooke's face. Did she really have to tell Peyton that she was still in love with Lucas? It wouldn't change anything in the long run. Lucas and Peyton would walk down the aisle, they would have their baby, and they'd live happily ever after like everyone in Tree Hill expected and wanted them to. The only thing that would change would be Peyton and Brooke. Their friendship could not take another hit from the infamous Peyton/Lucas/Brooke love triangle.

She had to be brave. Where was that Brooke? The brave and brilliant one? The Brooke that was fiercely independent? Where had she gone? She'd disappeared in the crowd, leaving behind a heartbroken shell that made up for everything by hurting everyone else. She hated feeling so sorry for herself.

"Peyton, Julian and I broke up because I was thinking of Lucas while we were in bed." She confessed.

Peyton's eyebrows raised, but she didn't let go of Brooke's hand. "Was it an accident?"

Brooke shook her head. "Sort of. I hadn't meant to. Julian thinks I can't tell him I love him because of what happened with Lucas…you know, senior year." She wasn't telling Peyton the complete truth, but she thought it was best to take it one step at a time.

She hadn't expected Peyton to lean forward and hug her. When she let go, she took Brooke's hand again.

"I'm guessing Lucas knows."

"How'd you know?"

"We got into an argument about all of this before he left to come here. I told him you wouldn't want him to feel bad over ancient history. You've always been so strong Brooke, you've never needed anyone. But he's hard headed, you know?"

Peyton smiled at Brooke, who shook her head in disagreement. "Maybe I don't need anyone but it doesn't mean I don't want someone."

She was so close to saying it, so close. She'd never been a selfish girl, Brooke Davis. Even when it came to Lucas. No, that was more of Peyton's thing. She was always the one wanting Lucas, and making it clear. The one who, even if it hurt her to do so, would hurt others to get to him.

Not Brooke. She stepped aside and let fate run its course. After all, wasn't it their dream? For Lucas and Peyton to end up together?

And speaking of dreams… "Hey Peyt?"

"Yeah?"

"When you asked Lucas who he wanted by his side when his dreams came true, did he hesitate when he said my name?" she asked.

Peyton looked bewildered by her best friend's question, but she answered it anyway. "No, not by a heartbeat. He was completely sure when he answered me. Why?"

"Because sometimes I wonder about it. Maybe if he'd been more sure all of our lives would be totally different right now." Her response was bitingly honest, and so was Peyton's.

"I don't think he could have ever been more sure about you Brooke. But I'm grateful, everyday, that you gave him up. I don't know if I would've been able to do it."

But Brooke wished that Peyton could give him up. Right now, it was all that she wanted.

* * *

"Lucas, you're in love with Brooke. Don't you think there's someone you need to share that information with?" Julian said, once the two were alone in the kitchen together.

"Keep your voice down, Peyton might hear you. And I never said I was in love with Brooke." Lucas replied.

Julian let out a low laugh. "Lucas, if you're going to lie to yourself go ahead, but don't do it to me and especially not to Peyton or Brooke."

Lucas buried his face in his hands. "Why can't it ever be simple? Why can't I love just one of them and be done with it? And why did they have to be best friends since the dawn of time?"

Julian sighed. "You need to figure out if you can really go through with marrying Peyton."

Lucas looked up at him. "It's not that easy. I love Peyton."

"Then do what's right and tell her the truth. If what everyone says about the two of you is true, that you're fate and that she's your destiny, it won't matter." Julian's choice of words brought an old memory to the front of Lucas's mind.

"No one knows this, but destiny picked Brooke when I asked." He said to Julian. He remembered how he felt that night, he had never been more sure of anything in his life. Brooke Davis was the _one. _And even though Rachel told him she thought it was impossible for just one person to belong with another, he disagreed. How did he know? Because Brooke was his other half. And to prove it to Rachel, he let her blindfold him. She told him to call upon destiny, and if destiny agreed that Brooke was the only puzzle piece that would complete him, he would be able to score a basket blindfolded. And he did, he made the shot.

So he told Julian the story, and Julian shook his head at the end, smiling. "So it was supposed to be Brooke all along, huh?"

"Yeah, it was."

"Then why did you ask Peyton to marry you?" The million dollar question.

"Because Peyton loved me and I loved her too. It was easier. There wasn't any effort needed. With Brooke, I wasn't so sure." He did his best to answer the question, but he felt like there was something missing that he should have said. He just didn't know what.

They heard footsteps and a few seconds later Brooke appeared followed by Peyton. Peyton walked over to Julian and gave him a big hug. That could've made Lucas jealous, it used to, when Julian flirted with Peyton, but now it didn't. He didn't have the energy to care anymore.

He heard her whisper "I'm sorry."

Julian smiled at her, and then turned to Brooke. He took her hands in his own. "I could tell you that I love you right now, but that doesn't matter anymore. I hope you find happiness again Brooke Davis." And then he kissed both her hands, and gave her a soft peck on her mouth. Lucas looked away, the moment seemed private, not to mention he didn't want to see it.

Julian proceeded to leave, but paused in the doorway. "Lucas, I think it's time you listened to what destiny said."

Lucas nodded his head. "You're right. Why don't we go home Peyt?"


	6. Her Dress

_**A/N - Boy was this one fun to write! I have to say, for those of you who may not know, Brooke and Lucas are not the only couple I adore on this show, (hint hint) But anyway, enough blabbing,**_ _**I got this one up super fast because of all the nice reviews you guys left. :) I was a little impatient for this one myself. Enjoy and review!**_

"Brooke, you're not wearing that. Please, please, sweetheart, just take it off."

"No."

"Brooke, this is just going to hurt you in the long run."

"Haley, I don't need a lecture right now."

"Brooke, just please, look at yourself!" Haley threw her arms up in the air in frustration. She sighed as she sat down on Brooke's bed. "Brooke, don't do this."

Brooke turned her back to the full length mirror she was standing in front of. "You know Haley, I cried when I first put this on. I cried when I first started making it." She hugged her own self tightly before continuing. "I cried because it could have been my dress. But it's not, and it never will be."

She turned back to the mirror, looking at herself again. It was wrong; to be wearing Peyton's wedding dress. She couldn't help imagining how it would feel if she were the one wearing it walking down the aisle towards Lucas. He'd be grinning from ear to ear, nervous as hell but just as sure as she was. Just as ready. She'd always been ready for Lucas, she'd always been waiting. She'd speed up her pace, not caring about keeping time with the music, too anxious to get the vows out of the way. Too anxious to be Brooke Scott. She would have that glow that only a bride on her wedding day can have, and he would look at her like he used to. Like she was _it. _Like they were _it. _What they fought for, with their fists held high, this was what it all led to.

Truthfully, Brooke hadn't really thought about marrying Lucas Scott before. But she'd always seen him by her side. And down the road she'd hoped for it, deep down. And it was resurfacing, she could feel it. There was something inside of her telling her that it would work out somehow, it just had to. Sure, she wasn't Peyton Sawyer and this wasn't fate's greatest and most star crossed love story, but she was Brooke Davis and she was going to make her own future. She just had to cross her fingers and hope Lucas was in it.

"I should take off the dress, shouldn't I Haley?" Brooke asked, still surveying herself in the mirror. She ran her hands over the white fabric. "But before I do, how do I look?"

She could see Haley smile, open her mouth to answer, but close it as a noise sounded. The doorknob was turning.

"Shit! Who is it?" Brooke called out, looking desperately for a place to hide. The door swung open and in stepped Lucas.

"You left the door open so I just…" He trailed off when he caught site of Brooke.

She was mortified. What was more pathetic than wearing Peyton's wedding dress? And then getting caught in it by the guy who would be marrying her!

"Here Brooke, let me help you out of that. Luke, why don't you go and—" Haley rushed into action but Lucas cut her off.

"No, I needed to talk to Brooke anyway. You should go home." He said. It wasn't a request, but an order. Haley pursed her lips in disagreement, but left anyway.

"This is more than embarrassing. I thought nothing could top when Rachel told everyone I was Brooking myself, but this—this way tops that." She said sitting on her bed.

He laughed and sat down next to her. "You look beyond words."

"I look beyond pathetic Luke. I'm in Peyton's wedding dress, looking in the mirror, wishing it were mine." She wasn't going to fool around and play games anymore. She was going to be honest.

"I kind of wish it were yours too." He said.

She reached over and put her hand on the side of face. "Don't say that." She paused, studying his expression. He looked tired, but happier than he had in the past few weeks. He and Peyton had probably worked things out just like she knew they would.

"I have something to tell you Brooke."

"Me first." She let her hand fall before dropping the news. "I'm going away. "

Lucas's mouth formed an "o" of surprise. "Away?"

She nodded her head in confirmation. "I thought that a nice beach house in Malibu might do me some good. Everyone needs a little vacation and I really need this Luke."

He turned away from her, not meeting her eyes. "How long?"

"Until further notice I guess."

"That's not a vacation Brooke, that's moving." He still wouldn't look at her, and it was making her nervous.

"Well, it's a vacation from the person I've become. I need to find myself again." She said, trying to catch his eye.

"And you'll find yourself in California?" he shot back.

"Lucas, why does this matter? It'll make things easier for everyone." She knew he would pick up on her implications. That it would be easier for him and Peyton. She was always thinking about him and Peyton, putting them first.

"Brooke, I know what you're doing and I'm not going to let you do it. Will you just take a minute and think this through? Please?" He finally met her eyes, taking her hands in his own. "Don't leave…don't leave me."

She felt something in her change in that one moment. Like something had reawakened inside of her. But before she could act on her instincts, she had to ask him one question.

"I can see the fire in your eyes again Brooke. What are you thinking?" He asked her.

"Where's Peyton?" She asked.

He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Peyton's at home." Home? What did that mean? Were they still together? She lost her train of thought as he kissed her nose. And then each cheek. And then her neck. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came. His hands were stroking her hair as his mouth moved along her neck.

"Brooke Davis…don't leave. I'd miss you too much." His words whispered against her jaw line.

"Then come with me." The words slipped out before she could stop them from coming. His mouth left her neck and his eyes met hers. They moved down her face, down her neck, down the rest of her body, taking in the dress again.

"It should have been yours." He said before their lips finally met for the first time in a very long while.

* * *

"Lucas Scott, please tell me you and Brooke did not have sex after I left." Haley shouted at her best friend. She didn't wait for his reply. "How could you do that to Peyton? She is _pregnant _with your baby!"

"Hales, slow down. I didn't say I slept with Brooke." He said. They were at Haley and Nathan's house. Lucas knew it was only fair to go and fill her in on what happened so she wouldn't freak out.

"You didn't?" She stopped pacing and sat down beside him on the couch.

He shook his head. "No. In fact, you can thank Brooke for that. She didn't want to."

Haley didn't look surprised. "Brooke's always had a good head on her shoulders." She cocked her head to one side, a small smile making its way onto her face. "You chose Brooke didn't you? You chose Brooke!"

Lucas laughed a real and genuine laugh. His second one of the day, the first being when Brooke talked about "brooking" herself at Rachel's cabin back when they were still in high school.

"I thought you went back to Peyton?" It came out as a question, one that he'd been asked a lot lately.

"Peyton and I…we had a very long talk. And we both decided that we needed to answer a very important question before we came back and decided if we really want to get married." He replied.

Haley's brow furrowed in confusion. "What's the question?"

"'What if?' Is the question." Lucas answered. "So we're both getting our answers."

"Wait…wait. Where is Peyton right now?" Haley asked standing up again.

"She's answering a question she asks herself every day."

"Lucas, this isn't funny. You two can't be playing this game." Haley scolded, starting to pace again.

"It's not a game. We really need this Haley."

"What's your 'what if' Luke?"

"What if I listened to my heart instead if my head?" He answered.

"And what's hers?"

"What if she saw Jake Jagielski again?"


	7. Dumb Move

_**A/N - It's surprising how quickly I'm getting these up! I'm really into what I'm writing, so that probably helps.**_ **IMPORTANT- I NEED EVERYONE TO READ** - _**So the second portion of this chapter was actually going to be a one shot that took place the night before Lucas's almost wedding. But I liked it better within the story, and I guess you can sort of call it a missing scene, I'm not too familiar with the term to be honest though. I do really love that scene because I dislike how everyone is always talking about what Peyton must've been going through on that day, but never about what Brooke was feeling. I think we needed to see that to really understand the rest of the story and Brooke****'**__**s character within the story.**_

_**I hope you like it too. :)**_

When Lucas was with Lindsey he was well aware of the insecurities that seeped within her. After all, she was his editor. She read his book and she knew of his story with Peyton. Sometimes he wished that he hadn't caved into what everyone was telling him, into what his book was saying. Sure, Peyton had been his comet, but he was engaged to Lindsey. He loved her so much, and for the longest time all he wanted was to get her back.

He hated how people said that she was just an obstacle for Lucas and Peyton, how every girl and guy was just a road bump in the highway of fate and destiny. They didn't know _anything. _Maybe it was because they'd read his book, maybe that was why everyone was rooting for Peyton and saying that it was supposed to be them from day one. It must suck feeling like a road bump; Lucas had never really felt that way himself. He had never been truly in love with Peyton until the latter portion of his senior year in high school, and she had become his light because at the moment she had been all he knew.

But when she turned down his proposal, when he was able to take a step back and form a life that did not include Peyton, he saw that he was okay. There was life outside of Peyton Sawyer, so much of it in fact. Not to say that she didn't hold him in a very special, because she did. Peyton with her artistic ways and obsession with old records, he'd never met anyone like her. But that didn't mean he had to be bound to her. Why did everyone think so? Was he the only one who disagreed, the last person who should be disagreeing in the first place? Every time he was happy with someone else, along came their accusations that he was still in love with Peyton. And every time he told them he wasn't.

He'd never lied. With Lindsey and especially with Brooke, he'd never been in love with Peyton then. But it didn't matter because apparently he was going to be with her in the end, so why should they all keep trying to fight? He could think of one good reason to keep fighting.

He was driving to Brooke's now, just around the corner from her place. When he got there, he was surprised to find bags at the door. He double parked his car and made a mad dash for her door. He could've sworn he'd reached it in less than three seconds, his basketball genes were kicking in now. He knocked haphazardly on Brooke's door, calling her name. It took a minute, one of the longest of Lucas's life, before Brooke opened the door.

She looked surprised to see him, or rather the state he was in. "Luke, you look like you ran over here."

"No, I ran from down the street. Why are your bags out here?" He asked after catching his breath. He may still have been able to run fast, but he wasn't seventeen anymore which meant that he needed his breath to catch up with his speed.

"I'm going to California Luke." She said matter-of-factly.

He could feel his heart falling apart, crumbling at his feet. The pieces were limp and dead and it felt like everything he'd been building up to recently had flown away when it was just in his grasp. He should have held on tighter, much tighter.

"What?" Was all he could manage to say. He was breathless again, but not from running. He'd been winded. How could she be leaving? What else would he have left if she was gone? He'd already let Peyton go, Lindsey was long gone. The last thing he had, Brooke Davis, whom he'd given up his marriage for, was leaving. Leaving him.

She sighed, nervously intertwining her fingers together. "Luke, my best friend is going to give birth to your baby. Can you honestly tell me you're going to let her go? Going to let your _family _go?"

At those words the mangled pieces at Lucas's feet screeched and fell apart further, if that were even possible.

"I'm not Dan. I'm not abandoning my kid. No matter what happens, it'll have two parents that love it more than anything in the world. Two parents that will still be great friends, married or not." He hadn't meant for his tone to come out so cold, just like he knew that she hadn't meant for her words to remind him of his history and of his father.

"Lucas, I didn't mean it that way. It's just that…you could have it all. The wife you've been in love with since high school, a beautiful baby, it's what everyone wants for you. I can't let you give it up just because you want to make sure you're not making a mistake."

"What if I am making a mistake Brooke? What if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life? What would happen to me and Peyton and the baby if we ended up divorced? Brooke, I need to know for sure that my future doesn't lay here with you." He took a step closer with her and his voice rose over hers as he spoke.

She was silent, staring up at him. Beyond beauty, her face was perfection. He wanted to touch her so badly, but he was afraid she'd reject his touch. He wanted to kiss her again, but knew she didn't want the same.

"Lucas Scott, can you imagine what everyone in this town will say when they hear you're calling off your wedding for me?" Her voice was so quiet in comparison to what his had been. He couldn't seem to quiet himself, he had to keep her talking, say anything that would keep her in Tree Hill with him.

"Brooke Davis never cared about what people thought or said. She likes what she likes and she does what she does and that's just who she is." He repeated what she said to him seven years ago word for word.

She let out a small gasp as the memory came to her mind. He could see it in her eyes, shining with tears, she remembered it too.

"I may not care but what about you? What about your 'comet'? Can you honestly tell me that you can try things out with me again but you still won't go back to Peyton like you always do? She's the girl in your story, you said yourself that the two of you were made for each other. You want her there when your dreams come true don't you?" He could see that it was killing her to push him away again, push him in Peyton's direction. He had to set her straight.

"The girl who was by my side when my dreams came true, _both_ times, was you Brooke. When the Ravens won the championships, you were the first face I saw and the first person to stand by me and give me the best hug in the world. When my book came out, you were the first person I went to. You wore the wedding ring before Peyton ever did. Brooke, she may have been the girl in the story but you're the girl living the real thing." He took another step towards her, and she took a step back in the opposite direction.

"I may not make it to the wedding, but she'll look beautiful no less. Just don't tell her I wore her dress." Her words were barely above a whisper, he was afraid a breeze may carry them away. He wished it would, he didn't like them.

"Brooke, I can't marry Peyton! If two people are doubting this to the point where they have to spend time with their 'could have beens', doesn't that say something to you?" He didn't know what else to say, how else he could possibly convince her.

"It's just another bump in the road. The two of you will get over it just like you always do." She tried to push past him but he put both his hands on either side of her face.

"And you say I was the one pushing you away. If you leave, I'm coming after you. I don't know what else to tell you Brooke. I'm giving up on my marriage because I see something more important in the distance." Their bodies were touching now, pressed upon each other. She had one hand placed lightly on his waist.

"And what's that?"

"Another chance with you. So say okay pretty girl. We can be friends again; we'll do this whole thing over. And if you're still not convinced that everyone in this town is out of their minds, and I'm _still _the guy for you, you can walk away and never look back."

"Okay."

* * *

Sometimes Brooke wished she could be selfish when it came to Lucas, like Peyton was. After all, that was why she always won in the end. Because it didn't matter who loved who, all that mattered was that Peyton loved Lucas and she had to try again with him. Maybe if Brooke had had that attitude, she and Lucas might already be married. But then would Peyton have the nerve to come and wreck it again? Maybe they'd be living somewhere else; maybe they'd be in New York. She'd start a new line maybe, she had no intention of going back to Victoria. He'd write a new book, about an old girl who was in his new life. They'd have those kids they joked about and then they'd move back to their home, Tree Hill. Maybe by then Peyton would have found love again, maybe then they could all live happily ever after. Lucas and Brooke forever, just like her locker said. Just like her heart said.

She remembered one time; she had spoken to Peyton, one conversation that she dared to never bring up again. She was sure Peyton didn't remember because she was totally wasted.

It had been right before Lucas's failed wedding. Peyton had drunk herself silly, she'd been sure that this was it and that she'd lost Lucas forever. She hadn't been paying attention to Brooke, or how Brooke could have been feeling that night. After all, Brooke was a part of Lucas's past, of his history. She had just as much a right to be as broken up as Peyton, maybe even more than Peyton. She'd lost him multiple times to someone else…Peyton had just always been too scared.

Maybe because Brooke hadn't been nearly passed out, crying and declaring love for the man whom she ached for, maybe that was why everyone who would be sitting on Lucas's side of the church the next day would be wondering why this mess of blonde hair wasn't the one standing beside him at the altar. So she did her best to comfort Peyton, to tell her that the important thing was Lucas's happiness, and he looked like he would be really happy with Lindsey.

It was the only thing stopping Brooke from behaving like Peyton. She wanted Lucas's happiness. That was why she let him go all those years ago, for his happiness. She cooed words of comfort and let Peyton drunkenly cry on her shoulder. And then, after a few more drinks, all of which went down Peyton's throat, she didn't want to listen to it anymore.

"Peyt, why do you think he's meant for you?" She asked. Maybe she would finally get a sincere answer. People said things that were buried deep within them when they were drunk.

Peyton shrugged, leaning back and placing her head on Brooke's lap. "Ever since he submitted my stuff, my art to the place, you know telling me it was because he cared about me and shit, well, it always seemed like he was the only one who really ever did."

Brooke pursed her lips. If only drunk people would make sense when they told the truth. "He's not the only one who ever really cared. What about Jake?"

Peyton let out a loud giggle that hurt Brooke's ears. The air around Peyton's mouth reeked of alcohol.

"Jake was great. Hey, that sorta rhymes doesn't it? Or maybe not. No, Jake was pretty awesome. It was…different with him." Her words were starting to slur, Brooke could feel Peyton's grip on consciousness slipping. "It was like…like two soul mates that met too young."

Brooke smiled, brushing tendrils of golden hair off of Peyton's face. "Yeah, it was wasn't it?"

Peyton nodded her head, shutting her eyes. "I think I might've loved Jake more than Luke. It was…um, how do you call it?"

"Beautiful?" Brooke offered.

"Yeah, that wasn't the word but that works too. Sometimes it felt like I had to be with Lucas…like, I had to try again. With—with Jake it just kinda happened because I wanted it too. He loved me no matter what." She hiccupped. "Luke didn't. Only when it was, you know, in his favor…when he didn't have you anymore." She hiccupped twice and laughed.

"I miss him a lot Peyton. I miss him every day." Brooke said.

Peyton smiled up at Brooke and reached a loose hand to touch her face. "I think giving him up was a dumb move on your part. He loved you so much…he didn't care about me. Like now. Now he's marrying Lindsey."

"Looks like we're both out of luck P. Sawyer."

"You should have stuck by him B. Davis." Peyton said, closing her eyes. "You would've won." She nodded off in time, missing Brooke's next words. They seemed to echo off the walls making Brooke feel so alone and so incomplete that she too gave in and began to cry.

"I know. Believe me, I know."


	8. The Most Compassionate Person

_**Author's Note - I know this one took me a little longer to write, and that may not make sense because it's one of the shortest chapters, but it was hard getting certain things to fit, and I eventually realized why. I don't want to mention it now, because it may ruin the chapter for you guys, but just make sure to read my note at the end.**_

When he was younger, back in his earlier years of high school, Lucas Scott had dreamed of being with Peyton Sawyer. He didn't know her at all, but just the idea of her haunted him. Even though popularity welcomed her, she always seemed the most reluctant to be under its power. Even though it surrounded her, it wasn't in her like it seemed to be inside the rest of them. It intrigued him, and he wanted to know her.

Little did he know that the vixen that was always by her side had something different inside of her too. He hadn't paid as much attention to Brooke Davis as much as he did her best friend back when he was a fourteen year old freshman. But he still couldn't help noticing her sometimes. He'd be watching Peyton when Brooke would skip to her side and start chatting animatedly. She'd always get a laugh out of Peyton, who nine out of ten times had been sulking before Brooke came along. He'd watch as Brooke's eyes would light up with pleasure at her friend's moment of laughter, her rare moment of happiness.

He hadn't picked up on it then, but Brooke was the most compassionate person he knew. Later on, as he thought back on those times when he'd paid some attention to Brooke, never the attention she deserved, but attention nonetheless, he realized that she showed it tremendously. The love in her eyes, the loyalty, and the devotion she had to those she let slip past the walls that guarded her heart, he'd never known. Never taken the time to see back then. But the more time he spent with her later on, the harder it was for him not to notice the real Brooke Davis.

Sometimes he'd wonder about what it would have been like if it had been Brooke that first intrigued him. In his book he'd written about his initial interest in Peyton, she'd been number one in his eyes first. He figured that was why everyone seemed to think they were so meant to be, that it was written in the stars since Lucas first realized that there was more to Peyton than cheerleading. But he'd realized the same thing about Brooke too, just later on. Did that automatically rule her out, because she came second? It shouldn't, but he guessed to some it did. And though he hated to admit it, it did rule her out in his mind for a little while.

But he'd come to his senses, he just had to prove it to her.

* * *

"Peyton?"

"Brooke? Brooke! Hi!" Peyton's voice was happy enough, but something in her tone was a little off. Maybe she knew why Brooke was calling?

"Hey Peyt. Can you talk?" She could hear voices in the background, saying Peyton's name.

"Yeah, hang on a sec guys, I need to talk to Brooke and then I'll catch up." Peyton's voice was distant as she talked to her companions, though Brooke couldn't displace the excitement in it.

"Was that Jake?"

"Yeah, he and Jenny are taking me to a movie, but it doesn't start for like an hour so I can talk. They like to watch the interviews and previews beforehand." Peyton's voice had complete adoration as she spoke about Jake and his daughter; Brooke hadn't heard it that way in a long time.

"So you really are over there. How are things?"

She could hear Peyton sigh, and for once it wasn't a sad sound but a happy one. "It's been really amazing to see them again. Jenny's grown up, and Jake…he hasn't changed at all." She paused, and Brooke sensed a change in the direction of the conversation. "How are things in Tree Hill?"

Brooke shook her head, pursing her lips in distaste. She'd been waiting for this question. "It's hard Peyton. Everyone is talking, everyone has their own story. Of course no one knows the truth."

"I told him this would happen, I really did Brooke." Peyton's voice took on that slightly condescending tone it did when she tried to take some type of fault off of her shoulders and place it on someone else's.

Brooke's voice was angry when she finally spoke up again. "You _told _him? Peyton you may have told him but it didn't change anything because you didn't stay to tell people the truth, you ran off to see Jake making me look like the homewrecking bad guy! How could you do that to me Peyt?" A knot was forming in Brooke's stomach and a lump in her throat, making her choke on her words.

"Brooke, I am so sorry, believe me. This is just something that Luke and I had to do before—"

"Before you break Jake's heart? Before you break mine? You can't just experiment with people like that Peyton! It's not how it works." She was angry now, this was a conversation years in the making and they were going to have it out.

Peyton was silent for several seconds. "Did you talk to Lucas about this?"

"I told Lucas that he's welcome to change my mind, but we're only friends and we're going to stay that way until you can tell me that the two of you are not getting married. I'm not going to let him in again only to have history repeat itself for the third time. I can't deal with it again Peyton, it nearly killed me before. I need you to promise me this time, promise me Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, that you are through with Lucas. That this time, you are going to be the bigger person and you're going to let me the selfish one. I _need_ to hear you say it Peyt." Tears streamed across her cheeks as she plunged into her speech, not stopping for breath, not caring about anything at all anymore except for the fact that her heart ached and she needed to know, this time for sure, that she had him.

Minutes went by, long minutes. Neither friend spoke, only breathing could be heard on either end. Peyton's was heavy as well, raspy even.

"I'm sorry Brooke." She finally said, and Brooke feared the worst. It was all just a game and once she was back Peyton had every intention of marrying Lucas. "Lucas didn't tell you what we said before I left to see Jake, did he?"

"No." What an asshole.

"He told me that he didn't want us to say goodbye for good just then because he didn't want me to be upset while I was with Jake. And then I asked him if it really was goodbye, because you know even though you may not say it out loud because it's too hard, it hangs in the air. And he didn't say anything, and that's when I knew. And he knew it too Brooke, he did. Things have changed between us, and they can't be changed back."

"Is it over Peyton?"

"It's over Brooke. You have my word."

* * *

"I talked to Peyton yesterday." At the sound of her voice his head shot right up from where he was sitting, reading something on his laptop.

"Yeah?" He didn't know whether or not to be nervous, whether or not it was good that they had spoken.

"Yeah." Brooke took a step further inside. "She sounded happy. She told me she asked you if it was really over, but you didn't answer her."

"I didn't answer her verbally. It's hard to say it out loud, she means a lot to me Brooke." He hoped that she would understand, that she would know he couldn't say it because it was hard to believe it was really over, though it really was. Not because he wasn't sure that he and Peyton were through.

She hugged herself tightly as she spoke. Lucas wished he could hug her instead. "That's what Peyton said."

He turned back to his computer screen, and typed one last sentence before turning back to her. "I want you to read something. Come here." He patted his bed, indicating that she should join him.

She hesitated, but sat down. He moved the laptop from his lap onto hers and pointed at the screen. Her eyes moved across the screen, her mouth fell open as she read. One hand flew up to cover her mouth. He knew what she was reading by heart.

_Cheery,_

_I said the wrong words to you last night, and I shouldn't have. What I should have done was made you stay and try to convince you that you were wrong. I know that you didn't believe me when I told you I missed you, but it was the truth. Every day I was gone, you were all I could think about. I need to understand what I can do to fix this, and please don't tell me it can't be fixed. _

_Brooke, you told me that you stopped missing me. I didn't know how to respond…I wanted to say something, but nothing seemed good enough. Nothing seemed like it could cover the damage I inflicted. And though I didn't understand it last night, I do now. When two people are in a relationship they need to need each other. Because if they don't, then what's keeping them tied to that one person? And I need you to know that I don't need Peyton, I need you. Not to protect me, but just to be there. Because even if there isn't a meaningful conversation like you said, you being there is the most meaningful thing._

_I feel like I'm babbling, and I know this sounds like I'm writing it as it comes into my mind, because I am, but Brooke, I don't want it to end. Ever. Can't you think back, can't you remember what you wrote in those letters? I know you still have them. Read mine too, read them over and over Brooke. If you forgot why we're in love I'll do everything it takes to remind you._

_Love,_

_Broody_

And then there was the line that he'd just added to the end, right after Brooke finished talking to him.

_People who are meant to be always find their way in the end._

She was silent as she read, and silent after she'd finished reading. He didn't want to speak; he felt it was wrong to disturb her thoughts. After a minute, he realized that she was reading his letter again.

And again.

"You wrote this after we broke up?" She asked after several silent minutes.

He nodded his head, but then remembered that she still staring at the screen and not at him, so he spoke. "I was going to email it to you, but then I thought it'd be better to send it to you personally. I know we were finished with the letters at that point, but I thought it would be fitting."

"Why didn't you send it?"

Even though she refused to look at him, he didn't take his eyes off of her. "Because I was afraid it wouldn't work. And if you'd shut me down after reading this, I was afraid I would lose hope in us. I would've rather had you come back to me on your own, then turn me down after reading something like this."

Brooke put her hands over her face, and for a moment Lucas thought that she was crying. But she wasn't because she'd had enough crying to last her the rest of her life. And when she finally spoke again her words contained the confusion, hurt, and regret of the past five years, since their break up.

"Luke, I'm glad you didn't send this. It would only have made things harder." She said.

"I didn't send it because I was afraid of that, I thought—"But Brooke shook her head, cutting him off.

"No. I meant it would have made things harder with Peyton. She loved you then, and you two were becoming friends again. Keeping me with you would only strain our relationships with her, and it might have made us resent each other. Who knows where we would be right now." She sighed heavily and went back to staring at the screen.

He gave it another few seconds before asking the question he'd always wondered about, ever since Peyton refused his proposal years ago and he'd began reading and re-reading this letter.

"Would it have worked?"

Brooke's eyes met his own, wide with the fear of getting her heart broken again. It was already pretty mangled, largely due to him.

"I don't know Luke. I think I did need some reminding. With everything that was going on with me and on top of it I'd just lost my best friend…I needed to remember the last time I was really happy. I needed you to remind me that it had been with you. But you didn't, and that's why we're sitting here right now." She paused, cocking her head to one side. "We can't keep balancing our relationship like this Lucas."

"I know."

She looked down at her hands. "I miss _us _a lot. I miss when you used to talk to me like this." She pointed at the computer screen. "I know you're pretty late on this, and its horrible timing, but I still need you to remind me."

And he knew, he knew that their relationship had changed in that one moment. The hope he'd felt as he'd written that letter five years ago, it was back. But this time, he had to follow through on it.

_**Author's Note Part 2 - I realized that it would be totally out of character for Brooke to let Lucas in again without any solid confirmation that he was hers. Of course, there could never be complete confirmation, after all Peyton has promised to back off before, and we all know that's not what happened. But at this point in the story, this is what Brooke needs to hear. And also, Lucas's letter was really fun to write because there's this line at the end of the episode, when Brooke dumps him, when he says that there should have been something that he could say, that would change her mind. And instead of saying those words, he said "I'm sorry." So I thought I'd make him look like less of an ass, and have him write a letter becase BL + Letters = AWESOME.**_


	9. Pretty Girl

**Author's Note - I know it has been a VERY long time since I updated. Life has been crazy, not to mention I've been without a working computer for months. Anyway, no more excuses. I'm sorry for all the Peyton in this chapter, I know some avid BL fans don't really like her, but she has to be here and I wanted her to have a scene with just Jake, which is why part of this chapter is in her POV. I promise you, there will not be a lot of that after this point. More to come, please review guys, and again, I'm super sorry for the long wait.**

"I sometimes wish I could take it all back."

"But you can't."

"I know." Peyton Sawyer sighed and leaned her head back against the car seat. Her blonde curls fell behind it, catching the sun. Her hands flew to her temples, lightly massaging them. "Believe me, I know." At her words a faint memory came to her mind and she sat up, giggling.

Jake Jagielski, the first boy whom she'd ever loved, smiled at her encouragingly. "That's the spirit."

Peyton shook her head. "No, no. I just remembered something Brooke said to me. It was a while back, we'd both gotten drunk the night before Luke's almost-wedding. Well, I got _really _drunk, I can barely remember that night." She closed her eyes, the fogginess slightly lifting. "I told her she should have stayed with Lucas, and she said 'Believe me, I know.'"

"It's funny how things turn out." Said Jake, turning his eyes back on the road.

"You're telling me." Peyton opened her eyes and stared out the window. "You didn't have to come with me Jake."

"I know. But you need the moral support."

"Right, moral support as I go back to Tree Hill to embarrass myself." Her head was starting to hurt as she thought about the task she was about to go through with.

"Embarrass yourself?" Jake's brow furrowed.

Peyton blushed scarlet. She'd so far avoided this topic with Jake, but she saw no way around it now. "I sort of whined about how I felt about Lucas to anyone who listened. And I don't think I could have helped it, I felt so strongly. Maybe because it seemed like I'd already lost, since he was marrying Lindsey." She paused to collect her thoughts. "Then I finally get my way, and I run off to see my ex-boyfriend whom I haven't seen since I was seventeen. I'm going to be the biggest laughingstock."

"What about Brooke?"

"What about her?"

"Can you imagine how everyone must be looking at her now? Getting in the way of the epic Lucas and Peyton?" There was a tone of bitterness in his voice that made Peyton feel ashamed of herself.

"But people shouldn't think of us that way." Even though she said the words, she knew they were empty. It didn't matter how people _should _think of them. She was more than a little embarrassed to think that she was one of those people, thinking nothing should stand in the way of her and Lucas.

"Peyton, I'm not here to make you feel bad about yourself. All those years ago, when I told you to go back to Tree Hill and try again with Lucas, it was with the intention that you needed to. You'd always wonder what would have happened if you hadn't. And now you know." Jake glanced at her sideways. "And now you have some choices to make, and some people to talk to."

* * *

"Brooke, you're shaking."

"You need to shut up."

"It's kind of cute."

Brooke turned around, a scowl on her face. "Lucas Scott, how can you be so happy on a day like this?"

"Brooke, we're talking to Peyton not going to a funeral." He wrapped his arms around her, but she pushed him off. "Why are you so nervous? It's Peyton."

"Exactly! It's _Peyton. _She's going to come back, still in love with you and we're all going to be right back where we started!" She threw herself down onto Lucas's couch, exasperated.

"I doubt it. On the phone she said that Jake was coming with her."

Brooke's head snapped up to look at Lucas. "That's right! He wouldn't come if she'd broken his heart over you again!" A frown found its way onto her face. "Then again, Jake's just really nice. He could be coming for moral support."

"Come on, Brooke don't you think you're overstressing yourself?" he sat down next to her.

"It's totally fine. I'm fine." She breathed deeply.

Lucas watched her silently, wanting to put his arm around her shoulders but deciding against it. The past two weeks were spent alone. The two barely went out, staying either at Brooke's or his own place. But here was the catch: they did not sleep together, not once. They only kissed goodnight, a very innocent kiss, before going to sleep. Lucas had slept on either her couch or his. Brooke protested, even convincing him to sleep beside her one night because she was sure his back would be killing him after so many nights on the couch.

It was something reminiscent of what Lucas did years ago, after the horrendous first half of junior year. After he messed up with Brooke the first time. He promised himself the next time he had sex would be when he was truly in love. The next time he had sex just happened to be with Brooke.

So what did they do, cooped up for two weeks? They talked. And talked. And then when they were done, they talked some more.

"_I never felt more broken than I did on Nathan and Haley's wedding day." Brooke hugged herself tightly. Her face on that day was vivid in his mind, lovely in every way possible. Her face gleamed with tears as she stood in her red dress pouring her heart out to him, as they both realized to their amazement that all was not as perfect as it seemed._

"_I really did feel the same way Brooke."_

_She nodded her head, a tear escaping and falling down her cheek."I believe you. Even then I believed you. But feeling it is almost never enough Luke."_

That had been one of their hardest conversations. Some conversations he was happy to have, they cleared the air and Brooke always seemed to look happier after them. This was what they needed; this was how they would fix everything.

"_At that party you threw, after the shooting, Peyton and I talked about the kiss in the library."_

"_I thought you said she only did it because she thought she was dying?"_

"_She did, she wanted to make sure I knew that. I told her that I loved her."_

_Brooke's eyes had widened so much at that point, he had expected her to get up and leave._

"_But I also told her that I was completely _in love with _a girl named Brooke Davis. And that Peyton was my good friend and nothing more."_

"_Did you mean it?"_

"_Of course I meant it. You were my whole world Brooke." He didn't want to tell her that he wished it could be that way again, so badly._

"_You were mine too Luke."_

They did their best to not linger too much on the past, but it was hard not to. For years on end they'd been ignoring said past, and it deserved some recognition.

There was another reason they didn't go out. Word had spread that Peyton had left town, and right after that more word was spread that Lucas, her fiancé, had not gone with her. Nathan and Haley did their best to quiet the masses and let them know that this was private business.

Lucas had asked Haley one day, when she'd come over for a few minutes, about the different stories going around. His favorite was that Peyton had been a cover up for Brooke and Lucas this whole time, it had been Brooke that broke him and Lindsey up, and Peyton was taking the fall. He'd forgotten how farfetched small town rumors could get.

"Luke, stop day dreaming, your doorbell just rang." Brooke was already headed for the door. He quickly caught up to her and they answered the door together.

On the other side stood Peyton and Jake. Jake was holding a sleeping girl in his arms, she looked around eight years old.

"Jenny fell asleep on the way over." Jake explained. He grinned at Lucas and Brooke, his attempt at lightening the heavy mood.

"Yeah, no problem, you can leave her upstairs in the bedroom." Lucas returned the grin before turning to Peyton, who's eyes were on the floor. "Hey Peyt."

At his voice, she looked up at him. Her arms wrapped around his neck tightly as Jake made his way up the stairs. "Hey Luke."

Lucas ended the hug quickly, it was Brooke's turn.

"What's up P. Sawyer?"

Peyton smiled and took Brooke's hand. "I've been meaning to ask you that same question."

"Oh no, this is all you Peyt." Brooke led Peyton towards the couch and sat her down. Lucas stood awkwardly for a few seconds, not sure if he should sit down beside Peyton or Brooke, a choice he'd been trying to make for years on end.

Brooke glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. "Sit next to Peyton, Luke." Brooke knew that there would be an air of discomfort when it came down to this, but she was going to do her best to ignore it. It was now or never, this would all be finally settled.

Jake came back into the room minus Jenny. "I'm going to take a walk for a little bit. It's been a while since I've been here."

Peyton looked mortified at his words. He winked at her, mouthed "good luck" and headed for the door, when Brooke had an idea.

"I think I'll go with you Jake." She stood, turning to face Lucas who still had not taken his seat next to Peyton. "Prove yourself." She said to him, knowing very well that he would understand what she meant. "We'll be back in twenty."

* * *

"Lucas, I'm so sorry." Peyton was the first to speak after several minutes of silence.

Lucas did not look at her, only stared at his hands. He was afraid of what would happen when he looked. Would he suddenly miss her? Would he ruin everything he'd been working towards ever since she left? His feelings for Peyton always changed, never were they constant, and it scared him.

"Luke, please look at me." Her voice was strong, demanding. He was not used to it after spending so much time with Brooke lately, who was quiet, guarded. He dared a glance and found that it was okay. Before him was Peyton Sawyer, a woman that he loved. She looked the same, maybe a little rounder where her stomach was concerned. Her eyes were tired, but sure. She was ready to work this out.

"I am too. For the longest time I felt lost without you Peyton." He started to talk, but was cut off.

"I know the feeling." She said. She shook her head, a small smile on her face, her blonde hair dancing across her face. She pushed it out of her eyes. "You cared first, you cared more than anyone. And I think you came into my life when I needed someone like you the most."

Lucas raised an eyebrow, there were two ways she could be going with this.

"But it's not like that anymore is it? I don't need saving anymore, and you don't have someone to save." She took his hand in her own. "I love you."

"Are you going to say you're not _in _love with me?" he asked.

Peyton shook her head. "I've never been one for the clichés, which is weird since we've been living one."

Lucas let go of her hand, put it on her stomach. "What about this little one?"

"I didn't really think that part through yet." She admitted sheepishly.

"Well, I started to." He paused, eyes surveying her face. It was nice to look at, more than nice actually. But it wasn't the face he wanted to see most right now. "It's not fair to our baby to grow up within an unsure relationship."

"So…what do you propose?" She stopped talking. "Sorry, bad choice of words."

He chuckled, despite what he was aware they were doing. "It should grow up in a sure relationship. Two parents that love it. That'll be enough Peyt."

She nodded her head, understanding. They didn't need to be together to raise this child, they just had to work together.

"Is it really over?" She looked up, asking a question that the two of them had never asked each other before. It was a question he was itching to answer, but scared of giving up the familiar. Scared of losing what he used to think was home. But that was it, right there. What he used to think. Not what he thought, not what believed right now. He knew where home was, knew it would be back in five minutes time, beating down hope on the inside.

"I think it has been for a while." He leaned in, kissed her forehead quickly. "Thanks."

Her eyes were sad. "I never thought this would happen. I thought we would have the sunset, the happy ending."

"And I thought you didn't like clichés?"

Peyton shook her head. She looked up at him, smiling. "I never thought it would end up being Brooke."

"I did."

* * *

"Hey pretty girl."

Her head snapped up at the greeting, the blood rushing to her face. "Sorry I didn't come back with Jake."

"Me too. Why didn't you?" Lucas sat down beside Brooke, on the hood of her car.

She didn't answer right away; instead she chose to stare ahead at the basketball hoops she'd seen so many times before.

"I was afraid of the outcome. Either way it turned out…something was going to change. And this is what I know; I know how to push things down and how to admit to myself that I'd been wrong." She didn't look at him as she spoke. She hopped off the car, walked onto the river court.

"Well, I guess you can do it again. You were wrong all along Brooke Davis." He followed her, she could hear his footsteps. The sound was familiar. She felt him behind her, towering over her. His hands landed gently on either of her shoulders, squeezed tightly. "I made a shot years ago, thinking you were_ it_."

She hung her head, not wanting to hear the story. She couldn't stop herself from crying when on one drunken night Rachel had accounted it to her.

"I don't know how or why I forgot about it. But I can't try to forget now." He turned her around, slowly, and when she faced him, he wouldn't remove his eyes from her face.

"I've told you that I was guy for you. But I never told you that you're the one for me. You are the one Brooke. I've told anyone I've ever cared about that you are." He paused, waiting for her reaction.

"Déjà vu." Was all she said, a smile playing at her lips. Her brow furrowed for a second as a question popped into her head. "How did you know I would be here?"

He laughed, moving his hands from her shoulders to around her waist. She stiffened, but only for a second, and then relaxed into him. "I didn't. I just thought I'd drive, for old time's sake. And there you were. Same old pretty girl."

She cocked her head to one side, making a decision. "Same old boyfriend."


End file.
